The Taste Of Change

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The taste of change - caterpillar to butterfly - how does that work?

Something that has been - coming to an end.

The beginning of something new, that I have not fully grown into yet.

The freshness, the excitement of that, inspiration, aliveness.

And the big un-known. Letting go. The grief of something being over, a place of no return.

 

What is this change is about? Somewhere there is a deeper knowing and readiness. A "yes". A need and longing to let go of all that is not real. Like seriously letting go. Beloved beliefs and concepts - that for the longest time have provided a safety structure to become who I am today.

And now - checking it out. Testing it. Rattling the cage, opening the doors.

What is still serving me - and the greater good? 

Ready to move on. To step deeper into the river. To surrender - to something way bigger than me. What is true and real, what is the essence of it all, beyond ideas and concepts of the "me-I-my".

Beyond of who I think I am. Who am I?

 

It´s been a pleasant caterpillar life. Leafy greens, a good life.

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And then there is the taste of flying, of growing wings.

Maybe, most likely - they have been there all along. Patiently waiting - for "me", to finally trust.

To butterfly - caterpillar has to let go of nothing less but everything.

Are you ready?

Today I am aware of this edge again.

This threshold between “the Old” and “the New”.

One does not do it anymore. The other not yet fully emerged.

And here I am - mustering the courage to embrace no-where-land,

with not much to hold on to.

.

Making friends with it.

The space - in between.

I breathe it in. Breathing happening. I am being breathed. Breath.

Fresh air.

                                                               Ready to fly?

                                                               Ready to fly?

One Of My Super-Powers Is Courage -Let’s Dare To Openly Make Mistakes, Take Risks And Fail - So We Can Shine, Too!

Often we hold back our gifts out of fear of failure and being judged. So what if somebody you care about does not like what you are up to? Yes - if playing it safe  is your priority - better don´t step it up. `Cause guess what - I can guarantee you - whatever you do, and however you go about it - for sure there will be someone who disapproves.

And yet: How about our holding back is even a kind of stealing - do you really want to continue withholding your brilliance and gifts from the world - maybe even miss out on finding out for yourself, what they are - just to stay safe?

Please do show up! Fully! I want to see you shine! I believe it´s time for all of us to step onto the scene of life more fully, to discover and share our super-powers and to contribute authentically!

And for this - we need courage. I am courageous. It´s one of my gifts to share and bring to you. We need to give ourselves and each other premission to make mistakes, to try, fail, stumble - sit in the dirt - and get up again. Like a little kid learning to walk.

And to be witnessed in that, too. Feeling the shame. The pressure to perform. Once you are able to stay - right there, with all of it - a new kind of freedom opens up!  

No more pretending we have it all figured out - and still going for it - let´s play, take ourselves less serious - and enjoy! ....

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See me? Ups! ...

I believe only when we give ourselves that permission, and compassionately support each other in that - only then - we learn to truly fly!

... individually ...

... individually ...

... and as a team!

... and as a team!

If you are interested in a free online group tapping on "Fear of success - old beliefs that keep you from shining bright" - please refer to my calendar , or do sign up for my newsletter now, to not miss out on any upcoming events! The next Tapping Session is scheduled for April, 7th!

So now, please do let me know - how have you failed recently? When did you feel excruciating shame recently? And what did you take away from that experience?

I´d love to hear your comments on this!

Love, Heike

All My Colors

 

All Of Me

 

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I want you -

I want you to find the places where I am hiding and not let me get away with it.

I want you to keep your fingers - right there - where I learned to play it safe.

Would you stay with me, right there, in the heat of the fire, and at the edge of the frozen ice?

I want you to not shy away from anything.

I want myself to not shy away from anything.

I long for allowing and experiencing myself in those places, too. 

I love trusting and daring to not be easy on you. 

I love not holding back - while not knowing where I am going.

Opening those doors.

A fresh breeze - the smell of Spring flowers, salty water, and fire. 

Blood pulsating in my vessels. Ecstacy of being alive. 

BEING, being me - with you. 

Let´s play!

 

I want to confront you - with all that I am. 

I invite you to do the same. It delights me. 

 

And I do know: all of the above - it´s on me. 

And yet - to see myself fully I need the reflection of me in you and the world - so I get to see in the places where I am blind. 

 

I want to allow all of myself. 

I want show up fully and see you, too.

 

Love, Heike

P.S: Rosel - thank you for the incredibly rich and colourful body paint weekend - the work you do, - and even more so - how you do it, is a pure joy to experience! 

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Bodypainting and photography by Rosel Grassmann: 

www.wildernessbodypainting.de

 

„Being“ Versus „Doing“

„Being“ Versus „Doing“ - and beyond all the effort, pain and hard work - there is Love!

Again and again I get way to busy trying to improve myself, doing stuff to become somebody better, more successful, sexier -whatever- you fill in the blank. Yet when I pause, I notice: I already am.  

Such relief, such beauty. So easy, and yet I keep forgetting. Let’s keep reminding each other of who we really are. 

Being Love. 

So in this video - yes, I am sharing some content, words. And yet - maybe you can also get a taste of the space in between the words...

Love, Heike!
 

Masks Coming off

An UN-Masquerade Ball

A Guest-Blog By Leah Pearlman, DHARMACOMICS - Thank you Leah!!!

I love Leah´s Dharma-Comics. Below Leah took a great honest look at how it works with social media, how they can mess with our longing to be seen and to be approved, and how we tend to present us in a certain light to others only. How about we all together stop this pretend game and just be who we are, all included, light and dark, right now? 

I for sure will join the next "un-mascarade party". So - hope you enjoy Leah´s words and art!

Love, Heike!

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By Leah Pearlman: 

Last night a friend told me she worried about my latest post on Shame. She was concerned that I might be exposing a part of myself not ready for so much attention. I’m glad she outed her concern, because it gave me the chance to explain why I shared what I did.

Recently I’ve been quoted in a number of articles about the critiques of social media. After the first few interviews, I held off doing more, because I had the feeling I wasn't accurately representing myself.  My friend, Boz, wisely suggested I address the concerns on my own platform. 

So here goes. I don't think social media is a problem by itself, but I do think it contributes to one. It offers us easy ways to project  “Look at me! Look at my Life! Isn't it Great? And if this isn’t you...Yikes!”  It can highlight how hungry we are for validation, and this can happen on hyper-speed through our feeds. Like counts create the distracting illusion that we can gauge our self worth. Here's a tedx talk I gave on this particular topic.

But friends, I don't think any of this is social media's fault. We’ve been doing it for ages, since before the dawn of corsets and fancy horses.  We do it through how we dress and what we drive. We show off through who we hang out with, what jobs we take and how we talk about them. We do it in the way we selectively answer questions like “How are you?” and “What have you been up to?”

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We haven't always had Like counts, but we've always found ways to gauge our likability. Social media may be simplifying the process, or amplifying the experience, but it’s not creating it. In one way, it's a hall of mirrors, but in another way, it's an actual mirror.  It’s showing us who we really are. It shows us how desperately we want to be seen as beautiful, clever, successful, and happy, and how much we don't want to be seen as alone, insufficient, and insecure.

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I received more “me too” emails in response to my post about Shame than just about anything I’ve shared in fifteen years of blogging.

We all experience struggle from time to time, but so often we hide it or minimize it, both on and off social media. This can cause us to think that if we're suffering, something is wrong with us.  We can think this shouldn’t be happening or wonder why everyone else's life is so delightfully functional.

We often respond to this discomfort by disappearing into our phones, our work, our jars of peanut butter, our fifth season of The Americans, our whining, and our wine. Then, after our generally unsuccessful attempts to self-soothe, we tell each other,  "It's all good!" and the cycle continues.

Cliché Alert: We all know life has its ups and downs.  The Buddha said it well, "10,000 joys, 10,000 sorrows."  Easy math. The problem comes when we permit pleasure and deny pain. We promote perfection, conceal struggle, and end up surrounded by happy creepy clown faces that don’t reflect reality.

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I've been writing about shame, pain, and anxiety because I want to take responsibility for interrupting the cycle. I have been a contributor to this echo chamber on social media and everywhere else. I often given the illusion through my words, my art, my posts, and my posture, that my life is like a beautiful sparkly unicorn full of glitter balloons and trampolines, complete with connection, insight, and sweet, sweet, vulnerability. And it is!  Sometimes. But when it's not, you don't hear about it...

...Because when I feel like sh*t, I DON’T SHOW UP. I don’t show up to your parties, I don’t return your phone calls, and I don’t show up to my writing.  I propagate the illusion that "It’s all good” and possibly contribute to the isolation of others who think “Great, there's someone else who’s got it all together.”  

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Public exposure is not everyone’s path. But for me, when I hide, I start to solidify the abusive stories I tell myself. After a while, the walls of shame grow so thick around me, sometimes it seems the only way out is to light a fuse to the facade and blow up my self-made cage, the one my mind tries to call: “Protection.”

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For me, social media has been great for this. I have been "coming out" on this platform in various ways for years, and found it incredibly healing, supportive, and community-building. I experience social media as much a solution as it is a problem. I see both sides in it, because I see both sides in us.

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Many people have been asking me lately about I how feel about contributing to the creation of Facebook and the Like Button. My answer to that is "Proud." It was the the right thing to do at the time. I still feel sure of that in myself. 

People also ask if I feel any responsibility for the pain some people now experience on these platforms. My answer to that is "Yes." For now, I take it on as personal responsibility. I feel responsible to find ways to navigate social media that most amplify my own well-being, and then share that, in case it may be helpful.

1. I choose not to read much of it. I barely use Instagram, Twitter, or LinkedIn, and yes, I block my Facebook News Feed. Why? Because I'm just too quick to beat myself up with the crowbar of comparison. I wish I had it in me to be happy for everyone all the time. But so far, I'm just too insecure for that. So for now, I choose is to stay away, and in case you're wondering, Fomo fades fast.

2. I don't post many of the activities of my personal life on social mediabecause I know my tendency to want to highlight the highlights.

3. I post when I want to be seen, like these recent shares. Glennon Doyle Meltonreminded me that sharing our process while it’s happening, can support our process to happen. 

4. I ignore Like counts to the best of my ability. Instead, I look at the faces of each person I know who has Liked one of my posts. Internally, I connect with them and thank them for seeing me, which is all I wanted in the first place. If you've made it this far, I see you looking, and I'm looking back. Thank you :-)

5. I try to be as honest offline as online. When people ask me how I am, I try to tell the truth. Last week, an answer was “Angry!” and I ended up doing a six-minute anger dance in front of my housemates before collapsing on the carpet.

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I have no idea if I’m right about any of this. I’ve been dodging the “What do you think about social media?” question for years, perhaps because I’ve been conflicted. Now I realize, it’s OK to be conflicted. There are many sides to this story, all valid, all personal and all changing all the time.

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So, in the spirit of honesty...I’ll let you know I worked hard on this post. I hope you like it. I hope you share it. I feel a little sheepish about this, but I have a fantasy of thousands of people reading it. I’ll probably check several times today to see if you’ve read it. Why? ‘Cause that’s what we do. And that’s OK to

Inspired Support. 

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This post was edited and clarified by Erica Schreiber, the same loving friend who asked the question that inspired it.

If you or your team need support articulating your purpose and message, hire her.

There's a Book. 

If you haven't read it, and you'd like to, or you would like to share it with a friend, you can get it here

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Want cards or prints or shirts or mugs or anything else of almost any Dharma Comic? You can get them here. I add comics to the store by request

By Leah Pearlman, Dharmacomincs - thank you, Leah, for letting me post this here in my blog! Love, Heike