For My Man: You meaning ME?

You meaning me - hits upon a wall. 

Muffled. I cannot hear you. 

Cannot perceive you seeing me in a place in which I don´t even see myself. 

Seen by you. Really seen. Really? How does that taste, feel, look like? 

Is there a body sensation that comes along with?

What does that mean?

Whom do you see?

How do I look like? 

Who is that, "me" - and what´s she all about?

What´s her Essence, her taste, what´s her real deal - "me"?

I´ve been hiding so well I´ve never even noticed it myself.

 There is no freaking way you actually find me, see me in my spot, tucked away, forever. 




I trust in the trees - simply being present for me. Just so. 










I trust in the Earth - holding me, regardless. 





Yet in the human realm?

Maybe forever is over. 

You look at me. I check you. All the time. 

What do you want? How do I have to be?


Today, you looked at me, and stayed.

And you stayed. 

"I want you. This is about YOU. 

I don´t want anybody else. And this is, what I mean. I mean YOU."

And you stayed - right there, in front of my wall that´s trying to push you away in disbelief.

"Can you hear me? I mean it. Don´t give me any other bullshit.

It is YOU that I want."


And then I feel a crack in the wall, a small opening, a new possibility - through which tears start pouring out.


Thank you my man - for still opening me up. 

After all these years.

Thank you!